Getting A Kick Out Of Ocean Scrums
The Age
Friday January 6, 2006
Jake Niall discovers that entering the master class brings an alternative view of human biology
THE ocean swim is a form of Nippers for grown-ups, especially for those reluctantly entering middle age, and a perfect January penance for those guilty of excessive consumption over Christmas.Like Nippers, the big ocean swims are scheduled only during summer in Victoria and are run and operated by the state's surf lifesaving clubs, for which the swims have become the fund-raising equivalent to the footy club's trivia night or chook raffle.The ocean swim is also closely related, in spirit and appeal, to the mass-participation jogs known, misleadingly, as "fun runs". As with the runs, there is a communal aspect to the swims, but each individual brings his own motivational challenge - to beat the clock, his mate or just to finish the water torture without resort to oxygen.Why do we pay $37 - and $100 for a cheap wetsuit - for this exercise in self-flagellation? I suspect that the primary reason, besides competitive instinct, is that the ocean swim gives its victims a reason for swimming up and down a mouldy pool two or three times a week. Plus it impresses, if not amazes, those who prefer the pub to the pier.The most recognisable participants, for some reason, seem to be state politicians or broken-down footballers. Ted Baillieu, pretender to the state Liberal throne, is a fanatical ocean swimmer, while Premier Steve Bracks and his deputy John Thwaites are regular dippers from the other side of the Spring Street benches.Old footballers, meanwhile, sate their competitive samurai spirit in the ocean without punishing those wounded knees and arthritic joints. They also get a nice photo op.As a graduate of Point Lonsdale Nippers, my summer campaign naturally begins - and sometimes ends - with a swim in The Rip View Classic, the 1.4-kilometre journey along Point Lonsdale front beach.This year was a significant swim, since I'd turned 40 only 13 days before the Rip View and thus had been promoted from the relaxed and comfortable 35 to 39-year-old "veteran" group to the alert and alarmed 40 to 44 "master" class. Incidentally, the 70-pluses at Anglesea are known, quite rightly, as "heroes".One would assume that, as adult swimmers get older, they also become steadily slower, in accordance with the laws of human biology, and that I would move up in the pecking order simply by being one of the babes of the class.Alas, as results subsequently suggested, a sizeable percentage of the 40 to 44 group had experienced some kind of post-40 epiphany, or crisis, and had become obscenely fit - instead of buying a phallic sports car, they'd plunged headlong into ocean swims, acquiring Thorpedo-style wetsuits and a flatter stomach (an alarmingly fit acquaintance admitted his training had gathered momentum since his marriage break-up).The upshot was that I finished 62nd in the school of 138 (male) sharks. The same time would have placed me 48th in the 35 to 39-year-old males, clearly the last demographic in which deluded blokes reckon they can show up and wing it, relying on residual fitness, technique and past sporting prowess.This newspaper, too, has tapped into the ocean-swimming zeitgeist and now not only prints the results and sponsors the circuit, but publishes articles by the likes of Daniel Kowalski in which swimmers are given hints on how to prepare, including dietary tips.I have my own, less expert views. First, buy a wetsuit, preferably one that permits breathing and near-normal shoulder rotation, and wear it at least twice before you race, preferably in salt water.Second, bear in mind that, since these swims cover longish distances and are held in the ocean, tactics play a part in one's performance. From my limited experience, the trickiest decision is whether to keep your head down in an attempt to establish a groove, or to periodically look up and around to ensure you're not headed for King Island. In these races, the swimmer is both jockey and horse.In the likely event that the swim is crowded, you have a choice: swim wide of the pack, unimpeded and avoid getting kicked and smacked, the downside being a longer journey; or take your chances in the scrums.The path one takes ultimately defines the purpose of the swim. If it's supposed to be mere peaceful recreation, take a wide berth and relax. But, if you're a wetsuit warrior, follow the crowd and don't let a stray foot deter you.
© 2006 The Age